Ballad of Motel 6

(standing bare ass naked in front of a mirror under a fluorescent light)

O' Golden Years, resplendent age
History maketh me a sage
Now crown-ed wise, anointed bard
Aye, best of all...AARP card

Yea, tho I saveth 10% on lodgings
Hear my sad lament
Forsooth there is a hellious doom
when booking such a cheapo room

Tis said, to thine own self be true
O' doth thee even have a clue??
as to the HORRORS now revealed
when naked flesh is ne'er concealed?!

The light! The light! O Damned Spot!
O wretched feckless rusting rot!
the mirror is not crack-ed, no
Ye! tis my BODY that is so!

Where once a tiny snip of fig
Could cover my pubescent wig
Now greyish sprouts n'er ever fed
Looks like Don King giving me head

Ahh!! No escape! These breasts, benign
last suckled, 1979
Now nam-ed Flip, and Flop, they float
Upon mine belly's ponderous bloat

The ass! The ass! Fie! Fie! The ass!
Once stalwart peaks! Now, Donners Pass
Oh, rosy cherubed cheeks of steel
Now only mine dog doth cop a feel

And yet the light so brightly glares
envisioning rogue, vile, vagrant hairs
all travell-ed , well sprouted, proudly
Dare I protest? I Curse! and loudly!

O fist upheld! O langorous note!
Mine chin's festooned like a billy goat!
Progesteronic curs-ed void!
Mine face resembleth Sigmund Freud

Who is this blue bespeckled hag
Whose belly waveth like a flag
When moving , wanders, nigh to fro
A Harlot, Once, but now, what Ho???

Gelatanious mounds, mine bric a brac
Ships hull, TORPEDOED, front to back
Once Proud PROW , now a languished shell
(and worst of all! My Poop Deck fell!)

Ye, my sangorous curses fill the night
Out! Out! Damnable fluorescent light!
Into mine bed, I crawl, agloom
O' blackened, darkened, cheapo room

As my thoughts fade, perchance to dream
I contemplate my grievious scene

Yet,

Joy doth return,
Mine sleep content
Feh!! Im Still Saving 10 Percent!